Coaches:The Bad Guy Edition

Movies tend to give us some of the bests characters ever. Whether they are good or bad, 95% of the time they are just memorable. The guys I’m looking at, are the bad guys, the jerk coaches who would do anything to win the game. Let’s look at our Russian at number 5.

5.Nicklai Koloff- “Whatever he hits, he destroys”. 5 words Koloff used to describe Ivan Drago. He was Drago’s main man, his trainer and hype man. Koloff warned us of Drago’s power, and we didn’t believe him. Ask Apollo Creed…..yeah HE KILLEd APOLLO. Koloff is at 5 because of the man he taught, without Koloff there is no Drago.

4. Wolf Stansen- Who knew Iceland had a peewee hockey program. Well the people at Disney did(or made one up). Wolf “The Dentist” Stansen was an evil dude. He lead the Vikings of Iceland to an undefeated preliminary record. imageIf it wasn’t for Gordon Bombay and a third period jersey change, Iceland would have won it all. He also is noted for a killer slash to Gordo’s knee. Stansen taught the Iceland team to win at all costs, and well they won big in all the contests but 1. “Gunner, you lost it for me”, a line that will haunt Wolf for centuries.

3.Kevin O’Shea- When you coach a kids football team named the Cowboys, I instantly hate you. Granted he is played by the awesome man who gave us Al Bundy. Kevin O’Shea will always be the hot shot older brother of the nerdy Danny O’Shea. Litter Giants is one of those movies where reality is dead, and fantasy lives. If Kevin’s Cowboys really played the Little Giants, I’m sure it would be 492-0. He screams jerk coach, and the usual peewee football jerk coach.

2.Bud Kilmer-Jon Voight as a football coach in Texas, what could go wrong right? Varsity Blues is a fantastic football story, about a crazy, out of his skull coach and his team of winners. It’s too bad Kilmer is run out of the stadium after halftime. Looks like Dawson’s Creek got too much in his head. Kilmer loses it and storms out, never to be seen again. But his will to win at all costs has him at 2 on this list. Legit would do anything for the W.

1.Jack Reilly-“It’s not worth winning if you can’t win big”. Yeah, THATS A QUOTE FROM A DISNEY MOVIES. Reilly was the coach of the Hawks, a team I grew hatred for as a 6 year old. Today, the Hawks are easily one of the best teams ever assembled. Reilly could be the greatest youth coach ever. He was screwed, Bombay steals Banks, and the Hawks never recovered. Reilly loses to Bombay, and Disney rejoices. But did Reilly go back the next year and smoke everyone? You bet your ass he probably did.

Outside looking in:
John Kreese(The Karate Kid)
The Warden(The Longest Yard)
Roy Turner(Bad News Bears)

Well that’s my list, and if you don’t like it, that’s too damn bad. My site my rules, that’s how it goes.


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